


On the eve of the dawn of the last day of Matrinalis, 9:44 Dragon

by AceQueenKing



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Epistolary, Multi, Set during Tresspasser
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-12 21:12:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17475056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceQueenKing/pseuds/AceQueenKing
Summary: The Inquisitor writes her sister Shokrakar a letter before going to confront Solas.





	On the eve of the dawn of the last day of Matrinalis, 9:44 Dragon

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bonster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bonster/gifts).



Dearest Shokrakar,

Hello, sister.

It has been some time since we last spoke. I know by the time this letter reaches our kith, you’ll have heard the rumors of what happened, the Qunari invasion into southern Thedas. I’m sending this letter back to you with one of our agents, Tanner – yes, she’s a human, and a little thing, but she’s clever. She’s got a secret and I encourage you to find out what it is, and use her as you wish; she’s got deeper pockets than you’d think. And mind the wimple; don’t let the chantry get-up fool you. As I write this – by candlelight, scribbling in a barn in the _Winter Palace_ of Orlais of all places – who’d ever thought I could wind up in such a fancy place, a Tal-Vashoth like me? But I’m digressing a lot.

I know you respect bluntness, sister, so I shall say things plainly: We’ve dealt with the Qunari. But we’ve uncovered something more sinister, and I don’t know if I shall survive it. I wanted to – well, I’m not going to get all mushy. I know you’ve no patience for it. But I’ve met some special people during this whole death-encrusted hell-purge who mean a lot to me, and I want to make sure that they’re provided for. I couldn’t send them back with Tanner – they’re like you, mother, too sneaky-minded, too good at sensing the intent if I poured the _Maraas-Lok_ too heavily. But I expect if I don’t come back, they’ll come to you – I’ve left orders that you’re a _highly_ capable merc, able to defend them and utterly incapable of being swayed once you’ve received your coin. As you did me, once. As they have, as well. Please accept them should they come, sister. My _kadan_ have made things far better for me. Judge not that they are not be-horned; they may be humans and all that entails, but they will fight with their hearts full of love, of vengeance.

I know they are humans, but their experiences are not unlike ours. I have thought, a lot, during these days about when we left Par Vollen; I remember so well, though I was so young. It was so dark, sister. We were moving under cover of night, dodging from place to place, as we moved from town to town. I think I would have died a _saarebas_ without you sister; no, I know of it. There is no chantry for my kind in Par Vallen, only the slow and insistent drum-beat of the _saarebas_ ; _dangerous thing_ , that was what _saarebas_ meant, and knowing that you still took me from our mother’s breast, ran with me through the streets until you found us a boat. I still, to this day, do not know how you did it. I may not get another chance and I know this topic skirts dangerously close to the mushiness you so detest, but I’ve thought of it often and only gained in my appreciation of you. Know that.

I grew up fully Tal-Vashoth, but you – you were raised in the Qun, and knew as in in all places, the Qunari put their dangerous things where they were most useful: at the front-lines. That you saw so young in your service that I was showing signs of magic, and knew that fate for me, and knew it was not to be: thank you. Thank you. I am glad we ran. I am glad, no matter how many years of starving rations and bad-mouthed clients we had to endure. I had not, until I had found the inquisition, known to be thankful, and gave you grief for so many years. I resented you for instructing me to keep silent, to apply my hands to fighting, and not to call upon the fire in my blood, to keep to the kith and kin. I know now, as all children do when they first taste danger, the truth: that these restrictions were meant only to keep me safe.  

When I first took up my position with these humans, put here by the hand of fate, I dreaded every part of it. The humans were cruel, had known me for what I was, if not entirely: _beast, brute,_ they whispered _._ I kept silent as you told me, sister.   Eventually, they found out what I was: a dangerous thing, bright and shining.

And I despaired. And I was…wandering, for a time. Unmoored. And there were many who poured poison into my ear, and I longed for your company, sister, though we know both all too well that it would be impossible to receive it.

But I was not always lost, sister; it was Cassandra who found me first; pulled me out of the green fade that I  had nearly drowned in, then pulled me out of the depression that threatened to spiral out and consume me. She is much like you; honest and noble, but the sort who doesn’t give two halla shits about propriety. She is herself made of knives, and I love her all the more for it; she is like me, too, a dangerous thing. Her sword does not falter in its aim, and her shield is strong.

But still, somehow, she speaks quiet.  I felt my heart falter to her. We drew close; she is a romantic, sister, and I tell you this because I know there will be no end to your teasing, and know also this will also only engender you to her. She is a bit quiet at first, but I think you will open her up; like me, it is only that her tongue is sore from being so long held. She is the one I suspect who will bring the other to you; she is a seeker, after all.

Ah, the other? I see your curiosity all these leagues away and I will tell you of him. He is the one who helped you in the forest, perhaps you remember? Blond hair, wavy, bending in every direction. Run your hand through it, sister, it is smooth! He is quiet, too, but a brave warrior. His name is Cullen.

It was that same sore tongue that made me reach out to Cullen; I saw in him what you saw, in me, sister: the signs of a suffering fate hanging high upon his head like a sword held by the slimmest of wires. It was all too obvious: the small, hard eyes, made hard by a world that had ground him to stone; the sweating hands, the weary sighs. He had been afraid to speak, too, if in a different way; he had seen things beyond imagining, and magic scared him. It took him longer to take me to his confidence, but he did. I think Cassandra helped; she has been his rock as much as she has been mine.

You are probably raising your eyebrows to the heavens at the thought of the three of us, but I tell you that it happened organically. We move as a unit on the battlefield, and off it, too. Their faith is unshakable, which is good as I find myself only more desperately seeking answers to more questions. The world is changing, _kadan_ , faster and faster than ever I thought. One I thought was my friend now seeks destruction, and I fear things will be worse before they are better.

But that means good coin for you, eh? And me, perhaps, if I am lucky. But if I do not return, take them under your wing. They’ll be angry and lost, and seeking vengeance. Not so different from you, from I; please guide them, protect them. They are good and honest people, and they will remain so, once the grief falls from their eyes. What is it you used to whisper to me - _Meraad astaarit, meraad itwasit, aban aqun_? The tide rises, the tide falls, the sea is unchanged; they are steady people and trust me, you will need people made of stone in the times to come.

I am sorry to be so oblique; I am running out of time. Already Tanner taps her feet, she is scowling and telling me to hury, for she wants to set off before the light peaks, and I know she is right. So I am telling her now that I will let you go, will send my love to you, and to Cullen, and Cassandra both. I will skip the tearful goodbyes, for such things are maudlin and I have no desire to have you tease me for them forever, so I will simply say: I love you, kadan. Take heart and remain strong, for all of us.

Your loving sister,

Tamgen Adaar

 


End file.
